Name: Kayla Jones
Age: 20
Hometown: Ferguson, Missouri/ Liberty, Missouri
Current town: Fargo, North Dakota
College/Major: North Dakota State University, Psychology major, Creative Writing and Women and Gender Studies minors
What does being Black mean to you?
“Being Black means family. I find comfort in those that look like me. There is so much we can all relate to and so many underlying jokes, cultural dances etc. It feels like home being surrounded by other Black people.”
If you don’t mind sharing, what was your earliest experience with racism?
“I think the earliest experience with racism would have to be when I was in elementary school (about 2nd grade). I wanted to jump rope, and I was pretty good at it, so the kids would call me ‘fast Black girl.’ This resulted in me not being able to jump rope because I was the ‘fast Black girl’ who showed off. The idea was that Black kids cheated or something, I’m not sure. So the other Black kid that came along and I could not play games that involved speed because we were ‘cheaters.’ Kids also often took out my hair barrettes to get me upset.”
What do you want non-Black POC and white allies to know right now?
“Personally, I prefer questions over ignorance. You will not know or understand everything, and that is okay. So ask me! I am comfortable helping others understand certain things about my race. The way you propose the question matters though, so please be respectful. Overall I want you to understand so you can empathize and understand where I am coming from. Also, if you are not sure about something, do not speak on it! Get clarification/research!”
Do you have a story you want to share about race, racism, colorism, prejudice, etc.?
“One of the worst experiences I have had with race was when I was in middle school. In middle school, I had a little bit of an identity crisis growing up in a dominantly white area. I would wear my hair straight and try to look like my peers to fit in. I got invited to a friends house for her birthday party, and the majority of the night consisted of them trying to get my hair as straight as theirs, trying to help me lighten my skin, and trying to get me to ‘talk like them’ to be more like them, because I was fun, but I was still a Black girl. All of middle school consisted of me trying my best to be anything but Black. Middle school was also the first time I had been rejected by my own race.”
Have you had any experiences with systemic racism (in school, work, etc.)?
“I have. I feel like other BIPOC will understand what I mean when I say it is difficult being the ‘token’ minority at work or in schooling. Getting dress-coded as a Black woman for wearing the same thing as white peers or getting yelled at for things white peers also do, this was very common at LHS [my high school].
Are there any other identities you identify with that you’re okay with sharing (gender-identity, religion, sexual orientation, immigrant, etc.)? Do any of these affect your experience as a BIPOC?
“I am a Christian! I am very much on a journey and trying to find what exactly this means, but I do believe in God. I would say I’m spiritual.”
Going to college in an extremely white area - North Dakota - are there any specific issues that you faced? How did you deal with them?
“One of the biggest issues here is the fetishizing of our race. My closest friend here and I are both Black and anytime we go to a party, one or both of us has someone whispering in our ear about how they have never been with a Black girl, that we are pretty for a Black girl, or that they ‘love’ chocolate. It’s very uncomfortable and makes us feel like we are just for show. For Black men, we hear girls who want ‘mixed babies’ or ‘athletes’ and try to get the Black men here caught up. It is very strange, almost like we’re objects. We always stick up for ourselves and explain why these things are wrong, but sometimes sticking up for yourself can be seen as a threat. I’d say that’s one of the biggest issues here. People are not used to diversity and do not know how to react to it. [There are] lots of ignorant questions and comments too! Surprisingly though, when you tell someone that what they have said is offensive, most of the time they learn and are apologetic. It’s kind of like being a parent, except everyone is your age or older.”
What significance does hair have to you? What about the Black community in general?
“My hair means so much to me because I spent so long not treating it the way I should have, out of fear of being looked at a certain way. I have a healthy relationship with my hair now and I love it in its natural state, protective styles, or any other style! It has been a journey but I am finding comfort in it. Hair is extremely important to the Black community because of our history. It takes a lot to take care of our hair and a majority of Black people have experienced prejudice, discrimination or harm (physically or verbally) because of it. Our hair is powerful.”
How do you compare your experiences in St. Louis to KC and NDSU?
“St. Louis will always feel like home. Every time I am there, I feel comforted by the fact that there are a lot of people of color there, and my family is there. I feel more confident when I am there because when I go to stores or something, I am not followed around or stared at. It feels nice. In Kansas City or here in Fargo, when I go somewhere, I am expecting to be stared at. My friends and I even make jokes about it sometimes (coping mechanism, I think), but it feels like there is a magnifying glass on my friends and I here and in KC, since we are a very diverse group of people. However, for a place like North Dakota, there are a lot more people who care than I could have ever imagined.”
Being from Ferguson, MO, how did the murder of Michael Brown and the subsequent protests affect you?
“To put it simply, it was terrifying the way my people had to riot because of how he was murder. I had family who were scared and some who felt they had to protect themselves from then on, because the police never had and never would. They still protect themselves to this day, and that moment made it worse. I wasn’t there when it happened but I always feel it when I’m home. It’s sort of eerie like I can feel what happened there.”
What are you passionate about?
“Foster care, music, writing, my career (psychologist) and creating safe spaces for minorities.”
What inspires you?
“Activism, music my history, women in writing, Black women in entertainment (Viola Davis, Keke Palmer, Angela Basset)”
Who do you look up to?
“My grandma and my family in St. Louis, as they have been through a lot where they grew up.”
If you have something you want to promote (your art, music, business, etc.) do it here!
“Links to some of my poetry!”
Here are some organizations Kayla would like to promote!
Black Mamas Matter Alliance: https://Blackmamasmatter.org/
Black Women’s Health Imperative: https://bwhi.org/
Here are 20 of Kayla's favorite songs!
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